sorry for the slow posts. i’ve been eating. almost fainted in school last friday; they alerted the nurse; i have to see a nutritionalist. am i admitting to those dumbasses i have anorexia? hell to the n-o. anyways, me and aaron are over and crap. i feel better. dunno why. seeing all time low tomorreh. pretty st0ked. got meet and greet and crap. uhuhuhuh. do me.
so i’ve been eating a lot. a happy sierra is a fat sierra, that’s definite. C: oh well. maybe i won’t eat for a couple days. i know i can not eat for two days ! that’s good. i’ll do that soon probably. ooh. maybe we’ll go to the movies or something and i’ll spend the week prepping for that. :] oh well.
sierra + aaron. C:
halloween was great. i had made it to 112.8 when i set out for tricks and treats, and i did eat about five mini-snickers C: so go me. actually, after that fast, i’ve been eating quite a lot. a fourth of a mini-pizza, half an omelette, and a handful of chips. loads for me. oh, and a few tacos from taco bell. saw paranormal activity with the cutest guy in the world and my best friend who slept over (she lives across the street. i love her.) and he held my hand and wrapped his arms around me when i was scared (which was frequent) and when i texted him at ten at night, telling him i was scared to go to sleep (i was.) he said “aww. i would protect you if i was there.” and i really like him. C: dunno when i’ll see him next, but yeah. :] i forgot to take pictures of myself in my costume. oh well. not going to bother weighing myself today, since i’m too lazy. and i feel too happy. byebye.
hiya. it’s me again C: so i’ve gained from 113.8 to 114.6. not good, especially because i look like a fat prostitute in my halloween costume. hence ! the halloween fast. i am going to drink nothing but water, gum, and the occasional ensure (they’re great – food supplement drinks, but they’re 350 cals, so i only drink half of one) until halloween. i’ll be documenting every day here. i just ate my last (rather large) meal of half a plate of sliced potatoes, onions, and a chopped up hot dog, and a breakfast claw.
so maybe he doesn’t like me. i’m in shambles right now. i’m not going to eat for two days. that’s how i deal with things. when things hurt, i stop eating.
he is. giving me mixed signals and making me feel like a rollercoaster. depending on my weight (won’t check til i say peace to my mom) i’ll decide whether i want to eat or not. most likely, i won’t.
haven’t eaten anything but three small pieces of teriyaki today. i’ve drank two ensures, arizona sweet tea, and menudo, the soup only. nothing food, besides the tiny bit of teriyaki. talked to marissa, but she’s not going to do anything about my starving. (: halloween plans are in the air, but either way i’ll look great. i feel great about myself too. while i think anorexia is terrible, it’s very refreshing. worrying about small stupid stuff is nice too. like aaron, only he’s tall and handsome and stressing is more the word for him. about to ask him if he likes me, let’s cross our fingers.
edit: i was pretending to be my friend marissa. he said “haha. maybe. she’s my homie thug.” better than “eeeew no” right? =D and i just weighed myself, i dropped .6, it’s 114. go me !
i’ve had anorexia since seventh grade. it reappeared december of ninth grade, after a particularly disastrous encounter with things such as drugs, sex, and a guy i wanted to make my world. i’m now a fourth into tenth grade, at a new school where that particular guy is enrolled, i like someone, and… yeah. (: i’m sierra. i like music tremendously. this’s for people and friends to see to check up on me, since some of them suggested i create a blog for this. and here it is. (: here are the past two days of calories: oh, and yes, right now, i am on the brink between unhealthy and healthy weight. it’s about 113.8.
october twenty five, two thousand nine:
– tuna sandwich • 230
– lay’s chips • 160
– soup • 55
– ravioli • 390
total: 835. verdict: could get better.
weight: –
october twenty six, two thousand nine:
– pizza • 330
– pretzel sticks • 450
– tea • 90
– soup • 55
total: 925. verdict: negative
weight: 113.8
